The flim-flam man is as common in hockey as fighting. Unless you ‘parlez-vous hockeyee’ you may not understand this con artist’s sexy, quasi-pornographic, lingo. Here’s a quick lesson in deceitful, hockey ‘Esperanto’.

Four your money (FYM), I will run four practices, on average, per week. Translation (T): I believe one plus one equals eleven.

FYM, I will encourage maturity in the players. T: I can swear to perfection.

FYM, I will insist on regular attendance at practices and dry land. T: I’m exempted of course.

FYM, I will roll the lines. T: I will shuffle some players up and down the bench for an entire period.

FYM, I will be accountable for my actions. T: I’m a self-governed professional so don’t talk to me because I’m not talking to you.

FYM, I will maintain player stats. T: The stats are too complex for you to understand and for me to publish.

FYM, I will focus on winning but I will never let it overshadow my goal of development. T: I will sit a player an entire game if I develop a headache.

FYM, I charge competitive fees. T: I’m the cash man.

Like the pornographer whose truth is revealed only after the camera stops rolling, the hockey flimflammer’s honest persona isn’t revealed until you’ve signed and the season is well underway.

Perhaps what's needed, to counter these swindlers, is a public registry forewarning future recruits that PORnographic language Kills Youth. Anyone have any suggestions for a suitable acronym for our fledging website?

Ozzie.

• Posted by: Ozzie
• Added On: 1 months ago
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